Have you ever been certain that God has led you to a certain place in your life, has aligned things in your life to work out, yet still be uncertain that it’s going to work out? Or perhaps been anxious about it anyways?
I find myself in this place, certain but uncertain, peaceful but anxious.
When I look back at the last 3 1/2 months I clearly and vividly see the hand of God in every instance of my life. I’m 100% certain that God’s hand has been on my family’s life, and that I am in the center of where I should be. My being pregnant and having made it this far in my pregnancy – hand of God. Carlos and I still being in Canada – hand of God. Getting a mortgage against all odds – hand of God.
Yet still my doubts linger – what if I get put on bed rest, how will I pay my bills now that we have a mortgage? I’m only half way through the pregnancy – still so many things can happen. What if around the corner immigration is lurking? Will I be able to stay off on maternity leave for an entire year and be financially stable?
Most, if not all of these fears will be completely unfounded and honestly it’s ridiculous to waste my time on them.
I have had a couple conversations with some friends around this same idea. How do we know when we are living in God’s will? This is not a doubt in my life – yet I still struggle with fears of it.
Focusing on fear is a waste of time, emotion, and faith.
If I believe what the Bible says then I know that God has known me before I was born, has a plan to prosper me, and would never leave me, so why then would I waste time fearing about tomorrow when I’m living in today?
This moment is the only one that I can control – and really I can only control it by the decisions I make and even then God is always in control. Tomorrow holds it’s own moments, and those moments can only be known when you are LIVING them, not before then, so wasting my time worrying about them will only cause unnecessary emotional distress.
I’ve been having to spend my time giving my doubts and fears to God instead of harboring them in my mind, I encourage you to do the same.