I’ve been really debating this whole blog thing the last few months. I’m really struggling with the idea of internet presence, social media and lack of privacy. I realize this entire idea may be very “1950’s” to many people, but I just feel like we have swung so far on this pendulum – and having the rebellious spirit that I do, I of course desire to rebel against this pendulum swing.
Society as a whole has an idea that all information on your life and the life of your children and/or grandchildren and/or friends and/or spouses (you get the point) needs to be shared and absorbed by anyone you remotely know (friends of friends of friends). I can’t even count how many times this week I’ve heard the phrase in regards to Facebook: “one of my friends, well, she’s not really my friend, we just went to elementary/highschool/college together…” The thoughts that go through my head automatically when I hear anything similar to that phrase is:
1) If that person isn’t really your friend, why are you ok sharing your life with them (especially if you are expressing to me any type of dislike for them).
2) If that person isn’t really your friend, what makes it ok for you to be so enthralled with their life that you feel the need to tell me all about it.
3) If that person isn’t really your friend why do you even care about what’s happening in their life?
I admittedly struggle with gossip and speaking from an understanding of that struggle, I think that social media of any sort (even Instagram, which I am still a part of) just fans that flame and makes that struggle even more difficult. Not only does it add to the struggle of gossip, but also to jealousy and a feeling that you need to brag about whatever is going on in your life – again, to people whom mostly you are only remotely connected to. It’s a vicious circle, you brag about your newest thing, make people jealous about it, only to give them a dissatisfaction with their own life (that’s their struggle not yours, but you add to their struggle), and they strive for more and more and more. Switch the roles now; you see a post on someone’s wonderful life and you begin to become dissatisfied with your own and so you strive for what you do not have and fail to see the blessings that you do have. (If you want to read some strong words in regards to this idea go read the book of James)
It didn’t take long for me to realize how much more I enjoyed my life in general after getting rid of most of the social media in my life. I’m not a stranger to getting rid of social media; I’ve done it on more than one occasion. In the past, however, I did it out of bitterness and hurt, this time was different. I did it out of a sense of a need for privacy; I began to realize how much social media was driving my life. Not only was I wasting countless hours updating myself on acquaintances and most likely using it in conversation at some point (gossip) but also I was using my statuses and tweets to give useless information to those who were “friends” with me – information that has no need to be known by hundreds of people. Aside from my own privacy I really desired to respect the privacy of my future family. I don’t feel like it’s fair to always be posting pictures of children on the internet – those pictures are there forever and they have no way of protesting or choosing for themselves what they would like shared with the entire world. I understand wanting to share information and photos with family and close friends who live far away, I just can’t get past the fact that when it’s posted somewhere on the internet, it’s there forever and always. I also feel like (and this is my own perception not based on any true or real facts) posting pictures of kids begins to become a contest of who has the cutest, smartest, funniest kid ever. In it’s own sense it becomes its own bragging grounds, and I am way more than tempted to join in already, and my baby is not even born yet! I know it’s going to be a struggle for me to not post every single picture, movement, smile and word from my baby, so what I’m speaking on is in no way a judgment of people who do choose to share their stories and pictures – in fact I LOVE seeing every single one of my friends Instagram pictures of their kids, I’m just choosing to not join in on that.
So coming back to this idea of blogging.
For me, blogging is a way to express my thoughts, to be intentional with my words and to be in conversation about things that really matter. So, although I’ve strayed away from social media, I’m going to keep this blog. I’m coming full circle in life, I’m in a place where I desire to be more intentional with my life, to stop using busyness as an excuse to stop thinking about things that matter. I miss the times in my life where I could sit down and have a very real and intentional conversation with friends about struggles, victories, and doubts. I want to continue to develop that part of me that longs for deep connection, and stop being afraid of what it might stir up.
So I guess what I’m saying is:
Expect more writing.